Not having FAITH is the reason you feel the way you do. Are you born again? "For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved". Do you believe this verse will all your heart, do you believe that once you confess this verse with your not only will you be saved also you be filled with the Holy Spirit?

As long as you are still righteous the Holy Spirit is with you! Instead of worrying or doubting that it is with you, you need to start confessing that the Holy Spirit dwells in You! Jesus never lies. "These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But theHelper, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in my name he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. John 14:25
Quote the verse in prayer, you will feel the Holy Spirit, only when you believe, and born again.