Here is my story, I have told it to only a few people and have kept it a secret for 3 yrs now. Even my pastor has kept it on the back burner, if this will help me reach out to others then here it goes. Let it bring glory to Jesus.

Since I was 7 yrs old I was in bondage to pornography I'm 40 yrs old and was delivered from that bondage when I was 37. Since that time God has taken completely away any urges to masturbate or view pornography, God has allowed me to fall in love with my wife of 15 yrs for the "right" reasons all over again and our lovemaking is more exciting now than when I was in bondage. HE has restored our finances and blessed our home, HE has given me a reason for living again and I know that HE has great things planned for me.

I was first exposed to pornography when I would go into my dad's little workshop that he had made out of one the utility closets in our apartment. On his wall he had nude pictures of women and I would secretly go in there and stare at them, I didnt understand what I was looking at but it awoke something inside of me and I also started masturbating at that time also, there are other things I was exposed to but those memories are too painful to go back to and it would dishonor my dad and I dont hold any blame towards him at all because he doesnt know what he did would affect me he was only doing what his fathers did before him and I have forgiven him and still love him even though at age 75 he stills watches scrambled porn on cable. By the way that curse has been broken and it will no longer be passed down to my 2 sons!

I had a typical up bringing and went to church and did the status quo but secretly every chance I got I would seek out the usual mags and videos when I could. Just going into a convience store I would look at the covers of the magazines to get my fix when I was under 18 it was all that i needed at that time.

I never hardly had any girlfriends because I didnt have any healthy role models, playboy and penthouse was where I got my learning from and the women in those magazines became my girlfriends.

When I became 18 and got a job I had the money to be more daring in feeding my addiction especially working nights as I did for alot of years but I always kept on the fringe while going to church at the same time, I was smart enought not to get myself into a situation that would expose me. As time passed I met my wife and thought that my bondage would end but I married her for all the wrong reasons... I married her because of the sex I would get and had repressed for so many years it was like an alcoholic working in a brewery. But it didnt satisfy me and I got more bolder viewing pornography since I worked nights and my wife worked during the day, now I hated going into adult book stores and spending our hard earned money if it was only a few dollars at a time. I can still smell the odor from inside those places.

I had gotten away from church also and God and we were always living from paycheck to paycheck it was putting my marriage on the rocks, we never seemed to have enough at the end of the week or month so when I didnt have any extra money to waste just simply going into and looking at the adult movies covers in the local movie rental store w

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