My life's story has been one of rebellion. I have looked for love in all the wrong places.

I left home at 16, was pregnant at 17. I named my baby girl, Charity Dawn (in her little life, God's LOVE dawned on me). She was born with a serious congenital heart defect. I didn't know that the word charity in the old english, meant LOVE (1 Cor. 13:13), but I started to attend church during her first year of life. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour and was baptized at the age of 18,(October 1976) and my precious daughter died after her second open heart surgery on November 13, 1976 just prior to my 19th birthday (she was not quite 17 months old).

To make the story short.....I entered into a path of rebellion against God, I was angry, I (in my ignorant state of comprehension) felt abandoned.

I thought I was okay, I functioned somewhat normally, I worked, married, had two beautiful children, started and operated my own business, only to begin to crash after a 14 year marriage failed.

Since the end of my marriage, I entered into many sexual failed relationships.

My second marriage was full of miracles, revelations and a very Holy experience, I share it in my other testimonies here in other areas of this site.

I have been dropped to my knees many times, broken hearted and cried out to God, but still making my own decisions and not completely surrendering to God. The final blow and surrender has happened this April 2007.

The story of my life is an "unfolding" and even though I have made poor choices, I have sinned over and over again, God has never abandoned me, he has continued to work in my heart and my whole life finally crashed this year (I can relate to being broken).

I'm not saying that my sin is justified, but I see how God has used the direct consequences from those sins/choices to draw me closer to him. Looking back I can see how God used all situations, the things that the enemy of our souls, used to lie/destroy/attack/condemn/steal from me, how God used these very same things to draw me closer to Him.

No matter how broken my heart has been, no matter how badly I have believed others have betrayed me, used me, dishonored me, ect....I learned that ultimately....I did those very things to GOD! It was I who had broken God's heart, betrayed HIM, rejected HIM. It was I who put the "love of men" before the "love of God", so now in that realization, I have confessed my sins, repented and am looking to God and trusting HIM for all the answers. Also, it has helped me to forgive those who have done these things to me, because it was I who ultimately did this to God and because He forgives me, who am I to withhold forgiveness?

I am not looking for love in all the wrong places anymore, GOD IS LOVE....I look to Him for this now. Common-law relationships is a LIE from our enemy - I have learned this lesson and surrendered this area.

It's amazing how God has shown his love, answered prayers and is revealing himself. His call to me is that he desires me intimately and NO ONE can love me the way HE does!

I have given him every area of my life, I am His work in progress. My spiritual walk is not about perfection, it's about progress! All fall short of God's glorious standard! (Romans 3:23)

I AM A NEW CREATION IN CHRIST and not living as I used to, not making choices I used to, not deciding how I would live as I used to! I know I will make mistakes along the way, and I know God will continue to love, forgive, instruct and discipline me. Humility is a powerful key to surrendering everything to our Most High God.

God bless you and keep you! Sincerely, in Christ, Debra