GOD is and has been waiting for you to completely GIVE UP!
When we truely give up living for ourselves, then he can step in and lead us in a way that truelly glorigies him.
He created us for his purpose.
And that's to love us, for us to love him and others unconditionally.
JESUS said "take up your cross and follow me."
Sometimes GOD allows trials in our lives to see if we really do trust him, and to help mold us into the person we were meant to be.
We are who we are by the good and bad experiences GOD has brought us through.
You are in my prayers and my heart!