Brandi Winemiller

My Deliverance Experience - Brandi Winemiller

Before Deliverance

For most of my life I have been very confused and did not know who I was, what I was and where I belonged. I was so hopeless to the point of suicide at times even after becoming a Christian. I always thought every one disliked me, was out to get me or didn't care about me. I felt like I was a nothing and wondered why God bothered to create me and thought that I would be been better off aborted and even at times wished that I was aborted so I could be out of my misery.

I had suffered a lot of abuse and poor treatment verbally, emotional and even physically by those that were supposed to love me and care for me and by people who said they were my friends and even those that were not friends. I was even hurt badly by many Christians.

All of this coupled with my disabilities which cause people to treat me unfairly and made me feel like an outcast; did a lot of emotional and mental damage. I began to hate myself, hate people and hate life all together. I was given so many false hopes and empty promises I became very doubtful of people and even God. I developed an "I will believe it when I see it attitude". My own family had rejected me prior to birth and continued to after birth.

I suffered so much rejection that I began rejecting myself. I felt worthless and useless. This became such a problem for me that I began to distrust people to the point of accusing them of rejecting me or being unfair or mean to me.

I had so much noise in my head and was hearing so many negative thoughts. I could not determine if it they were mine or the enemies. I knew the enemy puts thoughts there but my thoughts were so clouded up I was not able to see the truth. I was believing these thoughts running around in my head about how bad I was and how bad people are and how they don't care about me. I could not even think straight. I was so full of confusion, thinking was a real challenge at times. I was not even able to be my own person. I could not decided on simple things in life because of all the confusion and noise in my mind.

I at time felt like I was not in control if my thoughts and feelings. I was controlled by people and by demonic forces in people and in myself. Not being able to be in control scared me. I would try to take control but it never worked.

I was in so much torment by demons that I was causing many problems in my life. I was driving people away from me. I was driving myself away from the Lord and I was driving myself to not liking me self. I felt so trapped and lost. I thought that I was never going to get relief from all the torment in my life.

I was being so tormented that I blamed and distrusted God and would not let Him have full reign in my life. I wanted to trust Him but I did not know how nor did I feel I could. I felt like He had let me down along with the rest of the people that let me down time and time again. I would blame Him for how bad things were in my life and was not able to hold on to His promises spoken in His Word. Deliverance Over Several Months

I have received much deliverance over the past several months. It has helped a lot as a lot of the noise in my head stopped and I was not so confused any more. I was learning how to tear down all the wrong thinking in my mind and how to see where all the thoughts were coming from. It took a long time for me to be able to start changing the way I was thinking. I would try so hard at times and it seemed no matter how hard I tried and no matter how many demons where cast out, I was not able to keep them out because I was still having such a hard time with learning to think positively and see myself the way the Lord sees me. The wrong thinking patterns where so deeply embedded that it made it nearly impossible to change them.

Over the last several months I have learned so much about myself and who I am in Christ. I learned some hard things and some great things. As I began to see things the way the Lord sees them, I began to want more of the things of God and to learn more. I began to cry out to God for total deliverance. I was tired of all the torment in my life and all the confusion in my mind. I was begging for some one to help me and was begging for a complete deliverance to be done.

The Lord began to prepare me for it by having people do minor deliverances and get rid of some of the things that were standing in the way of my total deliverance. I started reading some books that helped me tear down many of deeply entangled strongholds in my mind, about how the enemy works in our lives, and how to deal with the enemy. I spent a lot of hours in God's word and in books as well as in prayer and listening to many men and women of God talk about the very things that were problems or issues in my life. A lot of this hurt but I endured it because I knew it was what I needed in order to be free.

As I got closer to freedom the enemy really tired hard to keep me from it by putting roadblocks of all kinds in my way. He would cause me to fall back in to wrong thinking patterns and wrong ways of seeing things or he would cause me to pick on people, and cause strife and division between those around me. I hated it every time this happened. I felt like I was always in a no win situation and thought I was never going to be able to get out of it or change it for the better. I often times felt hopeless and thought many times of just giving up on the idea of getting freedom.

Despite all the disappointments, failures, trails, hurts and torment' there was still a light burning in me that wanted to try and continue to try and gain my freedom. I was still not sure it was going to happen but I hoped for it and begged God for it. I finally got so disgusted with the way my life was, I cried out to the Lord and told Him I was willing to do what ever it takes to get free and stay free. I told Him I was willing to allow Him to do what ever He felt needed to be done to change me so that I can be the person He created me to be.

After the Lord spent the last several months preparing me for deliverance, I was finally ready for a complete deliverance. I was so excited that this day had finally come. I was also a little nervous at the same time. I knew what to expect but I knew this was going to be such a radical change for me. I was ready for it and was so thrilled that the Lord was answering my prayer for deliverance. During Deliverance

During my deliverance session, I was feeling very anxious, uptight and some what confused. I had all kinds of though

Get your free registration and log in to view entire article