deliver me

I have had some of the most beatiful experiences from God I was even filled with his holy spirit. Still I have fallen .I live eah day with the thought that I will over come. Many people say that I have to give it all to God, but i know for a fact that I have to take the steps to over come too. Still I fail to take those steps. I give in beause at the moment I enjoy the sin but then as always when the sin is over I am ashamed and fallen.I have dealt with certain sins my whole life. Thoughts that others put in my head and in time filled my heart and eah day I try to over ocme, but I ant . I believe in God and I believe in christ but I dont know if I will ever be able to be in the same house as God because I am so weak. Deep inside I want to destroy the power sin has over me but i have no power even as of today. God only an deliver me but for 30 plus years I have prayed and for all this time I have not recieved deliverane. ………. Now i have said all this and now I want to say something else. I know we all fall short of the glory of god.I know we all have a sinful nature. In the end unless God takes all of this away from me I feel I am fighting a loseing battle. In my mind all power and I mean absolutely everything is in Gods hands.We ask why we cant stop doing things and we really really really want to. What is my answer. God controls the breath I breathe he makes the sun come up, he takes away pain and allows pain to be. This is for everything. Even when people say that the devil torments well in my mind God allows him to torment so it is up to us to over come the devil for the love we have for God. Maby I am just too lost to get it I just dont know.. Have I been turned over to a reprobate mind? Why wont God deliver me. I dont want to be this way I hate the way I am in my sin . Out side of the sin I love who I am and I love God but right now I am so confused as to why I ant be changed like I should be. If any one knows what to do to help me then please please help me understand

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