Barren but and Broken!!!

My name is kelatoya I’m 21 and I’ve been recently diagnosed w/ PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and along with this came some other issues, but the most pressing issue is INFERTILITY. I know I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me but the thought of not being able to have kids(physically) is depressing. Now heres what makes it truly depressing in 2007 I found out i was pregnant(4mths to be exact) when when i went off to school(january of 2007) then in febuary I don’t know what happend I was going to my dr appts, doing moderately easy excercises, walking, watching what I ate,taking my vitamins…etc… but on valentines day I had a miscarriage…I was devastated, I with drew from the social atmosphere, I didn’t want to get out of bed, I just wanted to sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night to cry of a child (some nights I still do). After that I had some other health issues but I (in my ignorance) ignored them until advised by my pastors wife(this was in june of 2008) to seek medical attention. After talking w/ the dr then having some testing done and several perscriptions later, nothing happened, so they send me to an ob-gyn I ended up having to have an ultra sound and that when i find out that I had a baby shaddow (when you have a misscarriage and part of the baby is still in you). So I had a D & C now there telling me i won’t be able to have kids and if i do carry full term that labor will possible kill me and/or the child. That took a huge blow to my pride, I mean God created us to creat life. It made me to feel less of woman, and worthless, I began to draw away more from people all together, I don’t talk much to people now, it was like I was spiritually dead, in my mind it was as if God was telling me i was a discrace to him and that he was ashamed that he made me. I try to cope with this in my own way by not talking to people about it, i feel like i’m about to burst! someone PLEASE HELP!!!

What do YOU think?

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  1. Billy Bill says:

    Hello kelatoya. These are very difficult times. My wife and I are also going through a spiritual struggle with infertility. The Church has prayed for us, prophesised of a year of fulfillment for us, and we believed and proclaimed it, yet nothing has materialised as of yet. The time which has been set for us in the pastor’s prophesy has gone by, and we are still waiting. But, do not despair; let’s not despair! Please keep this word of the gospel at heart and hold onto it dearly, it is from Romans 8:15-18 “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.
    From Suffering to Glory 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

    I could go on with long words of encouragements for you and I, but I will let the Father speak to you through the Holy Spirit as He says to us today:
    1 Peter 6-7: “6- In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7-These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed

    Ours will be a testimony to God’s glory when His power is manifested. The doctors may have told us it would not be possible or would be very difficult, but the Almighty has declared ”
    Isaiah 53:5 “But He was wounded for our transgressions,
    He was bruised for our iniquities;
    The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
    And by His stripes we are healed”.

    The road might be long and difficult, or short and easy, but eventually God will have the last word and Satan will be put to shame. Hold onto your Faith my sister!

    Bill

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