I have read information and articles on your site which helped me use my gifts well and helped me find the true God. I firstly have to praise God for having helped you to create your site, and then I have to thank you for listening to Him and writing all the great lessons and sharing testimonies on your site in His name. God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ.
I have e-mailed you to show you my testimony. My testimony is a bit unusual than most, but I can tell you that this is all truth, and I have not lied in this testimony. I read about the power of my testimony on your site, and I thought it would be good to e-mail you it at the address you said on your site. Here it is:
My testimony: For a very long time of my life, I have been away from God. I lived in all sorts of sin, and I disobeyed Him greatly, and for that I had no excuse, and I even had a demon within myself. But praise God, he is both merciful and just. He has helped me through, and guided me through all truth.
I used to curse and use swear words pretty much every day. And, I mean really dirty swear words. I was trying to be 'cool', but that didn't make me look good to anyone, because I have always been rejected and hated for no reason. Whenever I tried to do some good, I was hated and insulted. I had a very short temper, and would get angry very easily, and insults was the quickest way to get me angry. Due to my physical strength, I could beat up those who angered me very easily, and my anger, combined with my hatred, seemed to power me and drive me to keep doing these things. I had been an angry and hateful person. The word 'love' was just not there. I didn't love at all. I was in a constant hunger for power, and I have always prefered strength over anything. Power was the only thing that I seeked. And my hunger for power would be that which created my downfall, along with many other sins. I have also lusted for women, and would masturbate daily. Dirty, I know, but that was the only thing I thought I could do to 'get calm after such a dark day'. I blasphemed God and Jesus aswell. I would have even said bad and dirty things about most likely the Only One who ever truly loved me. But my hunger for power was still constant. Revenge was just my way of doing justice – whenever one would anger me, or mistake me, I would hate him and seek revenge against that person. Revenge was one of my most horrible sins. I was hated by everyone – even my parents. My hatred was driving me nuts. And this is how the torment began.
As I said, I was constantly hated, and gave probably more hatred back. Hatred was an every day thing for me. I had a not so happy life, and was not so rich either. I was poor, but not too poor. My desire for revenge fueled my hatred and anger to flow through me and power me to get my revenge accomplished. But inside, I was very hurt. I needed a friend, a friend who would understand me and would help me through this. And the tormentor suddenly came. He was a demon. He fancied his name to be 'the revenger', and would explain to me it means 'he who seeks power of revenge.' He talked to me, and I could see visions of him. My visions were not vivid, but more like flashes. I could still tell what I was seeing. Revenger didn't reveal his true self to me – he wore a dark green armor always, and would hold a flaming blade. He kept talking to me about chaos, anger, hatred, revenge, and how to get it. He taught me how to lie and deceive. I deceived people, lied to them, made them hate eachother, and me and Revenger would only laugh at them. In my world, Revenger was the only one who would understand me and would give me 'friendly advice'. He made me feel more powerful when I fought. And I even let him possess me sometimes. I could feel something dark flowing through me, and then he would talk through me, using my voice, but on a darker tone. He talked in English most of the times, but would also say things in a demonic tongue. It must have been curses. However, I was also greedy. I wanted more friends. And I found out about the almighty Lord God who answers our prayers. So I prayed to God, and my prayers did not get an answer. That was because I didn't have true faith, but I didn't know that by then. And whenever something bad would happen to me, revenger would assure me that God hates me and that is why he keeps mocking me. I remember saying when outrageous and bad things happened, 'thanks God. Mock me more'. Revenger didn't seem to agree with God, at all. He would tell me that God hates me, and that only him was the one who would stick with me and help me live my life as a winner. It was a lie. If anyone who reads this has a demon, I warn you, never do what he says! They say lies, always. You'll never see them saying the truth. However, I did not know this when I had revenger inside. He always fancied himself as being the indestructible leader of a legion, and kept saying that his hatred keeps him alive, and grants him more power. He fed off hatred and anger. However, one day, one of Revenger's advices didn't work, and he laughed at my agony. This made me angry at him. And I prayed to God, and told Him my sorrows. Revenger immediatly came to me and asked for my forgiveness, saying he just made a mistake, and pointed out where his advices worked, and somehow got my forgiveness. He seemed to be fearing when I prayed that day. He usually looked disgusted, but now he was terrified. I said to myself, revenger, the leader of a legion, so terrified of a prayer?
Somehow, I got few human friends, which have betrayed me and have used me, and gave me no apology. I felt so betrayed, so mistaken, I had to revenge. I was also listening to some heavy metal band that kept talking about hatred and anger. By that time, I didn't really know revenger was a demon. I called upon the revenger again, and let him posses me. Curses in demonic tongues would come out of my mouth and I'd fight more fiercely than ever before. And I'd also make strange noises and breathe with a noise, as of steam coming out of an engine. I had the strength, but not the speed. My so called friends would run and insult me, and call me a 'coward for not chasing them'. Me and revenger would get very angry when called a coward. He kept telling me about his honor and strength. He was very proud and full of himself. And he was making me be like him. I uttered a curse in a demonic tongue, then leaped into the person, brought him down, and strangled him, and put him against the wall. I let go of him, after I got calmed down. I would see myself back in control of myself, and the revenger beathing with that noise. And after that immense hatred, there was a strange calm.
Those former friends who betrayed me would continually do this to me, but stopped finally. But one thing remained before and after they did, I kept hating everyone and everything – including myself, and would hardly ever have a good day. As I mentioned at the beggining, I also have been masturbating after a bad day. It was dirty, but my whole life was dirty. Then, Revenger stopped being my friend. I started feeling ashamed about masturbation, and he started to accuse me. He insulted me in many ways, and told me I would go to hell where I would be tormented forever. I would usually get angry about insults, but I felt as though I deserved them, so I didn't speak against him. He would start to accuse me of everything I do. Whenever I would do anything less than perfect, or fail at doing something, he would accuse me. My 'friend' became my accuser. I felt as though I'm nothing. As though I could never love and be loved. I was sick of my life. I kept thinking about suicide. I thought that my life was already hell, and could never be restored, but that was a demonic lie. Heaven is opened to whoever is born again. We can all escape hell! If you're accused somehow that you will go to hell no matter what you do, worry not. God loves you. He is your true friend. He's willing to be your friend, if you just let Him. And He wants to be more than a friend to you. He wants to be your Father! Praise God for his mercy, he cleanses even the most dirty of us.
I tried to use self discipline and music to calm myself down, and not be angry and hateful, and to stop masturbating, and trying to fight revenger in visions, hoping that revenger would stop accuse me. And in my vision, I had a sword, and was fighting him, and brought him down, with the same angry and hateful way, and stabbed him, and saw him vanish, then reappear. I could not defeat him on my own. I then had another demon. He fought revenger for me, and never asked me to let him possess me. However, this one was worse. He was asking for my eternal soul. I was frightened. I kept refusing, but he kept asking. And revenger's accusations cut within me, they hurt me because they seemed true, but they really weren't. I prayed to God at nights, but wouldn't usually get an answer. I just prayed out of fear of revenger and the other demon, I prayed that God would not let them destroy me. Then, something happened. I, concerned, wrote a prayer on Google, then pressed search. I didn't really know why I did this, but I felt I had to. Revenger told me that it was worthless and I'd find nothing, but then I saw the first page resulted a site called christian-faith.com which was talking about how to overcome sin. Praise God for having led me there. That was probably the best piece of writing I've ever read then. I kept reading that article, and found out that only God can break these satanic bondages, and that I was a slave to my sin (and therefore, to revenger and the other demon) but I could be redeemed. That article comforted me so much. I kept reading it, while revenger told me it was all lies, and that there was no God, but I ignored him. I just felt a peace and a hope. I caught a glimpse of a page talking about how to get delivered from demons. I didn't read it all, but I saw something about breathing out.
I was still thinking about suicide, though, since my life was still bad. But something held me back from it. It was my fear of hell, and of God. My life was very bad, indeed. But I heard hell is a much greater torment than all that torment of your life. I was just horrified at the thought of an endless torment, that was worse than the torment in its current state. Then I had a vision. This vision was different. I was taking a shower when I saw it. I saw flashes of me cutting myself, and writing with my blood on the door 'The lord revenger has won', and cutting my throat after, and then I caught a glimpse of myself in a dark red place, and revenger with chains in his hand, and with even more armor. That vision got me concerned. Revenger was not my friend at all. He wanted to get me killed, where I would go to hell and get much more torment. I had to escape revenger and the other demon somehow. So, that night I prayed to God that he would get them to leave me alone. I cried that night. And I was a person hardly ever cried, because revenger told me that crying was for the weak, but it really isn't. I praised God, I, who usually didn't praise anyone but myself. I felt like God was my only hope, and I told Him what I felt, while crying. And then I heard a comforting voice, and He told me "I hear you. Tell him to go in My name, and he shall go.". Then, I immediately got out of bed and went to the bathroom, and said "Go away in the name of Jesus Christ!" and then felt something come up. I started cursing in demonic tongues again, but I felt different. Revenger and the other demon let out a scream, then I felt them going out of me. They were breathed out. I thanked God for His mercy. I never had revenger within me and he never accused me again. Using some of the teaching on your site, I learned more about curses and blessings, and broke off some curses. I found out that I had the bastard curse among other curses, but with faith in God I broke them off, and I wasn't so hated anymore, and God's love would always comfort me. I prayed that God would stop the sins I was doing, and He did. He got me to articles on this site that had me read about who God is, and what sin is, hell, heaven, and everything. And I was still sinning by then, but I felt that it was not me who was doing those sins, it was a bondage even though revenger was gone. I then read about Satan and his fallen angels who rebelled God. Satan wants to get us in bondage, and have us in hell where he would torment us. But somehow, I felt some mercy for those unclean spirits. I didn't let them in, but I didn't know how angels could be bad. My idea of angels was God-serving spirits who did good. How could some be bad? But then, I saw Satan himself. It was a vision. I saw an angel, with long, wide wings, and with a dark expression. It was Satan. Then, unfortunately, I started seeing Satan more often. He didn't want to let go of me. I'd see him in one of the corners of my house, asking me to sell my soul, and frightening me with his angered and vicious face expression. I refused repeatedly and told him to go away in Jesus' name, but he still wouldn't go. I once saw Satan laughing with his vicious eyes, with chains in his hand. He was waiting for me in hell. Then, somehow, I prayed to God again. I told him about this, and He told me that I should never feel sorry for them – they are wicked in nature. They perverted themselves and God's gifts, so God cut them off from his glory, and cast them into hell, where God is not there. They hated the only one who truly loved them. They made angel have to fight against angel, and they pained God's heart, for God loved them before they rebelled Him. And now they want to pervert us and pain God even more. What did God do wrong? Why does God deserve this? If you ever somehow have mercy for the unclean spirits, try to have some mercy for God! He is the One who is suffering! In His great mercy, He gave Satan time to repent, but Satan refused, so God, being a just God, wrote their destiny. They are to go to burn in the lake of fire, and they want to get us with them. I felt bad for paining God's heart when I sinned. I felt more mercy for God, and Satan once told me that my God forsaken me, and told me what evils he wants to do to me. He angered me. I felt hatred towards him. I turned my hate towards people into hatred for evil and wickedness. I started hating sin. I stopped using swear words. God broke off the bondages, and I stopped masturbating and am now slow to anger thanks to the mighty God of righteousness. Whenever I see Satan, I tell him to away in the name of Jesus Christ. And I say it with faith, for the Lord Jesus did all of this for me. And Satan immediately flees from the great God. Praised be the name of the Lord Jesus Christ forever. Amen.
Some One Who Believes
i_am_free12 AT yahoo.com