As we all know, truth hurts, truth is bitter and yet I wish to speak up the truth. Not all wish to share the deepest secrets they have in their life and its ok to be so, coz that’s their choice and wish, but I chose to share the truth from my life, why? It’s only because I was living in Kilinochci during the war times and I thought if I have to die due to war, no one will ever know what the LORD has done in my life, and the kind of pervert I was and I how by His grace he saved me, nevertheless how I die.
So, I started to write about myself, not for publicity but with the intension suppose if I die, many who are like me may read this and get to know JESUS as their LORD and personal SAVIOR.
I first started to write all about myself in http://www.myspace.com/solomon69 and later posted in face book. The truth which is below about me was written when I was in Kilinochchi on Saturday, July 05, 2008. Since this is my 3rd or 4th face book account, I every time repost all my notes again in face book, you may find all in myspace page with dates and times.
Now that I am alive, I am seeking reason why GOD brought me alive when I am not worth of and I wish to be a blessing in your life the way HE wants me to be.
Written on Saturday, July 05, 2008 http://www.myspace.com/solomon69/
I wish to take this opportunity to thank you all for adding me as you friend. Did you read my profile? Hope you did so, if not please do
Gone are those days due to my perverted attitude many times I have misused the web to quench my lustful thirst. Going through x-rated links and having cyber chats. I could say that I was under the bondage of my own weakness of my flesh, which I could not come out of it because I liked it too
Now, it’s not the same any more. The web pages which I used with an intention of having an immoral act are now been transformed into spreading the gospel of JESUS CHRIST. HIS love, death, resurrection and about HIS second coming.
I was in Colombo, Sri Lanka, when I got to know about www.com and chats in 1996. I was amazed to know that I can communicate with others without looking at each others face, especially females, and I found it to be an miraculous technology.
Ha, miraculous technology? Not to spread the gospel of CHRIST but to view pornographic images and have ‘sex’ chat with female counterpart. Only after few months later, I figured it out that it is not called as ‘sex’ chat but ‘cyber’ chat.
That was one hell of a hell, which took me nowhere apart from stimulating and feed my lustful desires, killing and wasting my precious time and money in a cafe. I truly enjoyed every bit of it. Whenever I see a female’s name appear in messenger, I ask for cyber and if she says yes, I feel good about it and go-ahead with it. Only after a very long time I figured it out, the person whom I think as a female ended up being a male who is a gay interested in such cyber chat with guys. Ha ha ha lol.
That made me aware of choosing my future counterpart. I had two faces. I always had conflict within my heart and mind. My heart wanted to serve JESUS, loved HIM for the kind of person and sacrifice HE made on the cross to save me from my sin and shame. But shamelessly my mind continued to sin against my will and wish of my heart.
Though I was born and brought up in a protestant Christian family, I did not know fully well who JESUS was, and is. I accepted HIM as my LORD and personal SAVIOR in the year 1996 in a Pentecostal church called assemblies of GOD in Trichy city, Tamilnadu district, India
I was fully aware of LORD JESUS, each time I committed and continue with my willful sins. I knew that HE is watching me, but yet sin prevail over my consciousness. Each and every wrong act I did under the sun is not without being aware of who JESUS was, HIS love, HIS grace, HIS mercy, HIS promises, HIS provisions and what HE is capable of when I repent. But yet, knowing all this, I continued to sin and I discover pleasure in it.
My consciousness was pricking me and finally it became dead within me. My consciousness could not overcome my mind, rather my mind over came my consciousness and I was doing things that was not pleasing to GOD and people.
I truly desired to live a life that pleases to GOD as mentioned in the bible but I was unable to stay focus and I could not be a person that I always wanted to be. I could not change my life by reading the word of GOD when I was in India and Colombo but, as I came into Kilinochchi in the year 2005 August on wards my life started to change looking at the war torn area filled with agony and misery witnessing what the people have been going through about three decades with numerous internal displacement etc etc.
I felt so ashamed of myself, about the way I lived. I feel I am not worthy to live in this land ‘Kilinochchi’, when I think about the way I lived in Colombo. So may good people have perished due to war in this land and still dying out of it. So many young innocent good people who deserved to be alive are passing away when a perverted sinner who is not worthy to be alive, is still alive.
GOD only knows why I am still alive. One thing I know for sure, the reason that I am still alive is to accomplish HIS plans through my life to spread the gospel, to comfort and console the wounded hearts and souls of this land, in which GOD is already using me. It is such a privileged to be used by LORD JESUS for the extension of HIS kingdom, using a perverted sinner like me. He does not look down on us how we were, but how HE can change us to be the kind of person HE wants us to be, when we want to change from our perverseness.
To spread the good news of HIS gospel and bring many to HIM.
I am not ashamed or afraid to speak the truth out, to bring the secrets of my life out to the light, only in order to encourage others how I was and how I am now, is only by the LOVE of JESUS that HE lavished upon me a worthless sinner, not worth to be alive. And my beloved, if you too are going through any similar lifestyle of mine, please, this is your chance, your time to give your life to JESUS. Call upon HIM and He is with you. HE wish to come ‘IN’ you than being ‘with’ you.
HE was always ‘with’ you from your birth to this day. Protecting you, providing you, loving you. Now HE wish to come into your life ‘IN’ you, than being ‘with’ you. There is a big difference when GOD is ‘IN’ you than ‘with’ you.
HE will only come into your heart when you invite HIM, by confessing your sins by asking HIM to help you to repent from your willful sins. To live a life that pleasing to HIM as a testimony to many. The choice is yours and the suggestion is mine.
Say this Prayer : LORD JESUS, I am a sinner, Please forgive me. Come into my heart. Help me to Change. Change my life the way you want me to live. In the name of JESUS I ask you heavenly FATHER GOD. Amen
Above mentioned is not an advice. It is simply the truth and I am privileged to pass it on to you
Much love and prayers