A SPIRITUAL BATTLE THAT I CAN’T SHAKE OFF

Hey Yall. My name is Sammantha. I live in Bellingham, Washington, I’m sixteen years old, and I’m a junior in High school. At the early age of 4 my dad abanded our family, and at the age of 6 my mom passed a way. In many ways, these situations have helped me to discover the glory of god and all of the good that he has done in my life. However I’ve been struggling with an embarrasing/emotional/painful event for the past three years now. Long story short, when I was in middle school I was at my friends house for a girls night sleep over. Just for fun she brought out the ouiji board to play with. I thought it was pretty cool, and didn’t really think too much of it. A couple years later, I played it again at halloween, this time with a different group of friends, and playing the board was my idea. What I didn’t know, was that I was opening all kinds of doors that I am now dealing with today. The last satainic experience i had incountered was last summer when my friends parents told me that they were speaking with my mother who was dead. My first thought was, “Yeahh Right!” But these people both had great careers, a really nice house, they had brought up great kids, and they were very smart. So it wasn’t like, “hey these people are weirdo’s, they don’t know what their sayin” Anyways, they claimed to be pyschics, and they read my “ora.” When they began talking to my “mom” I really wasn’t believing it, so i asked them to describe what she looked like… THEY DESCRIBED HER EXACTLY how she really looked. At this point, I thought it was pretty cool what was going on. Only to later have a christian family friend point out that this is the work of satan, and that if my mom really needed to connect with me, that she would do it through god. I feel like I have opened up all these doors without knowing that I was doing anything wrong, anything that god wouldn’t approve of. All of these doors that i’ve opened have left me badly scared. These past three years i’ve had horrible anxiety and fear over being alone. It’s gotten so bad that it’s to the point were I am sleeping on the floor in my grandparents bedroom because I’m scared to death of sleeping alone, in fear that one of those evil spirits might find it the perfect oppurtunity to spook me. I know this sounds childish, but All i can do is ask for help. I also can’t take a shower with the shower curtian closed in fear of what’s on the other side while i’m in there. I cant type on the computer without looking over my shoulder every five minutes to make sure no spirit is waiting to get me. And driving in my car at night… don’t get me started. I’ve had several panic attacks on the side of the road. I just want relief from all of this. I’m wondering if someone who is reading this could pray for me?
thanks.
ps- On saturday night the lead pastor of my church is going to do a “delieverance prayer” with me. Can anyone give me more feedback on this? I’ve had other pastors try to help me before… but no luck:(
Am I doomed for good? Do I ever get a chance to lead a normal life again?
– Samm.

What do YOU think?

comments

Comments

  1. Sammantha7 says:

    So basically after talking with my pastor when we set up a time when we could really sit down and talk we are figuring out that there isn’t an evil spirit harrasing me! If my love for jesus is this strong, if i’ve had several pastors pray delieverance over me, if i’ve been cleansed with holy oil, and if i’ve specifically asked god to let all my unholy experiences be put to death on the cross and i STILL feel this way, then I’m most likely greiving the death of my mom. There’s still a little 7 year old inside of me who has so much fear. My grandparents who raised me were the type of people who just “Swept everything under the rug” if something bad happened, we all just needed to move on and be done with it. I’m realizing that’s not the way my life works, and Jesus is helping me let the scared little girl inside know, that she’s not a lone. The church gave me a $250 scholarship to get private prayer counseling. I’m so greatful!

    “When your mother and father forsake you, then I will lift you up.” Psalm 27:5, NKJV

    • My wife went through several years where the Lord was working emotional healing in her over the death of her parents. It needed a lot of crying and releasing of grief she had previously been told to bottle up.

      If you don’t ever express grief over loss, it can cause all kinds of unhealthy issues later on. I’m not a psychologist but I do believe most psychologists would agree with that principle.

  2. Counsellor says:

    Sam,

    You are most welcome.

    Read Ephesians Chapter 6. This is in respect to the “whole armour of God”. This is a process over time of strengthening yourself daily, to stand against the tricks of the devil. God knows our weakness, so leave that up to Him to take care of. your weakness. Lay your life before Jesus. There is nothing we can hide from him anyway. But with the devil, you need to resist him. You need only rebuke him, and then resist him. The Word of God declares that “he will flee” from us.
    Ephesians 6 is important in that it allows us to take a complete view in putting on “the whole armour”. Cover your head to toe in his armour, from helmet to shoes. You will see that satan has new tricks in time, but we are protected in the Lord.

    Thank you!

  3. Sammantha7 says:

    sorry about my last post, I’ve got your verses now, they are excellent thank you!!

    • Gods sunflower says:

      You are welcome Sam, May God continue to bless you and keep you, as you grow in His grace

      Your sister in Christ

  4. Sammantha7 says:

    Wow Yall.Thank you so much for taking the time to respond so nicely, and with so much thought and so much effort. I appreciate it. First off, I’ve been praying NON stop. I really want god to know (i know he already does 🙂 ) That I HAVE learned my lesson, and that I am completly aware that he is god, and that he is good 🙂 I’m slowly reilizing that this fear I have does not match anything I’ve ever read in the bible, it doesn’t fall under anything I’ve ever heard at church, so it must not be anything from god, which also means it must not be good…
    Which is a perfect reason to get it out of my life. Saturday night I spoke with my pastor. He told me that there is no fear that god can’t handle, and that there is no love greater than god’s. Just hearing these words has really helped to calm my anxiety. I have also been reilizing that a lot of this fear of being alone has been from the death of my mom. As childish as this might sound, I’ve found that when I get scared and nervous that it helps if I talk to the inner scared 7 year old who lost their mother who is deep down inside of me. I usually say something like “I’m so sorry you’re scared, no child should lose a parent, but god has a great plan for you, and abandonment isn’t apart of the plan… you’ll never be alone again.” As weird as it sounds, talking to myself like that and going back in time to be the bigger person when my family told me to move on REALLY helps. I also know that god is on my side 100% and if there is anything that I am fearing it’s something he can handle. I’m trying my best to face this fear head on. And tomorrow night, I’m going to try to sleep in my room alone. Does anyone have any bible verses that I could write out and post by my bed? I’m looking for something that could relate to what i’m going through. THANKS SO MUCH 🙂

    • (Psa 4:8) In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

      Psa 30:2-3 O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. O LORD, you have brought up my soul from Sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.

    • Hi Sammy! my Name is Jackie i met you on the internet, very interesting story you have you are not alone Jesus is with you, He said i will be with ALL THE WAY, not half way or quarter way but ALL the way, you are made in the image and likness of God if He didnt LOVE us he wouldnt of sent His only Son Jesus Christ to die for us, you are very important to God he loves you with an EVERLASTING LOVE, you just tell the devil he was defeated over 2000 years ago you have Jesus in 1John 4:4, have a blessed day my sister may the favour of God Almighty be with you. Ps 27:1-2

  5. Gods sunflower says:

    samatha you have open doors unknowing to yourself then, that God can close for you now, and any doors that God close, no one not even the devil can open. While your pastor is praying for you that is a good start but I want you to renounce your past, name them one by one the things you have done, for e.g you can say father in the name of Jesus I renounce using the ouiji board, and command the spirit to go into dry uninhabited places in the name of Jesus. But I will advise you to find a church who does deliverance. You seem also to have the spirit of fear and it is controlling your life. Remember God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love and of a sound mind. Use the word of God as your shield. From your writing you don’t want anything to do with darkness and only want to please God, He knows your heart and your desire and even writing this to you, I sense that He will make a way for your complete deliverance. I will encourage you to continue to renounce the devil and his work and that spirit of fear in the name of Jesus.
    Please read Jeremiah 29 vs 11-14. Claim your future that God have for you. YES you do have in future with Him, the only sin of unforgiveness is blasphemy against the holy spirit. I read testimonies of people who did worse things by far than you did who was in the accult and lodges and today they are mighty men and women of God. Forgiven by the mercy and blood of the lamp of God slain from the foundation of this world for me and you. You will have a testimony too, and be able to warn young people like yourself not to get involve with those type of games. May God bless you and keep you, and yes sing a lot of worhip songs, like How Great is Our God, etc. I will be praying for you.

  6. Counsellor says:

    Hi,

    I am a minister, first and foremost. Before my profession, or before any other title, I am a minister. I don’t condemn you! You simply entered into an unknown world, and experimented with the unknown. What you were introduced too was a “familiar spirit”. It’s simply a spirit that knows your Moms actions, thought patterns, etc. It’s not from God, no matter how dressed up it may seem.

    I advise you to take your FEAR head on. God has not given us the Spirit of FEAR, but of love, and of sound mind. Currently, the spirit of FEAR is trying to manipulate you. Rebuke it in the NAME of Jesus. Every knee shall bow at the name of Jesus. Even this spirit which is trying to conquer you will bow. Rebuke it, in the name of the Lord. Live righteously, and praise God through every circumstance. Increase your faith by reading the Word, and plug into the presence of God. In His presence, you will feel strong. We cannot walk alone thorough this world, but must have His spirit indwelling us and leading us. He is strong. We are weak, but He is perfect in strength. We are poor, but He is abundantly rich in all things. By being his child, we become strong and FEARLESS. That spirit will go. Have FAITH, and be strong. You will grow through this, and will also teach others to be wiser in their choices.

    God Bless.

  7. I’m praying for you. At the same time, it would be very helpful if you devote much of your time praying and singing praises to God. Play some good Christian devotional music and along with it sing loudly while doing your works or even while bathing. Thank God for all that He does for you. And seek forgiveness for all your sins, don’t let there be any conscience of guilt as when you surrender to Christ by His blood you are cleansed of all your past wrong doings. Fear not and have faith in God, He will surely deliver you. It is always good to keep your mind occupied with good things so that the devil will not get a chance to put frightening thoughts in your mind. Mingle with young children as with them you will feel closest to God. Best is prepare a time table completely packed with activities, so you won’t get a chance to wonder of what is going around you. Jesus Christ is our Healer, He will heal you.

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